i think i have two assholes
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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