its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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