Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
