idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
