Can Purell be used as lube?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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