Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
