He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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