Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think people are normalizing furries
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
