well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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