Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
