just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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