i just google imaged poop.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
