I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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