We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
