you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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