it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He better not be in your backpack
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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