I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
