Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Less talking, more tequila
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
