I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
