u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
