Duck Duck Cougar?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
How naked do you want me to be?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
