well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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