I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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