super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
smell my finger.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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