Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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