Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Terrible idea I love it
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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