so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
