For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
