You don't have asthma, your pregnant
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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