I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
