Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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