You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you traded sex for a burrito?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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