he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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