apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
