i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
