well you can't waste a boner
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
