I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
