Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
In America we eat man semen.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
