literally had 100 drinks last night.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize