Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
