Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize