I got chris browned last night
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
