either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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