I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
