I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
