Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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