I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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