she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
