Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
