He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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