Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
