I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
