It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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