he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
