I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
