You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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