if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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