If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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