Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
