well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
