If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
