omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
