My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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