I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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