It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
