..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
