I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
