TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
